Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Tough Sell

When Pumpkin was first born, I found myself at a mom's group, commiserating with another new mother who was just learning that having a baby was the equivalent of throwing a bomb in the middle of a perfectly good marriage. I had figured this out a few weeks before during those early days of motherhood as I lay in bed one night, working out the logistics of the inevitable divorce that was coming my way.

Having a baby is a surreal and miraculous time, but it is also potentially a time filled with disappointment. From the moment that Pumpkin was first placed in my arms and Hubby and I did not have a moment where we expressed eternal love for each other and our new family, I knew this was not going to be a Hollywood event. Hubby had fears that he felt he couldn't express, and in all truth, newborn babies aren't much fun. Consequently, he kept a distance from us. Combine that with the usual chaos of actually having a newborn, and you've got the hypothetical marriage bomb. Thankfully, we emerged from the rubble, and as an even stronger couple for it. But that wasn't where I was trying to go with this story. Sorry about all that serious stuff.

So back to commiserating with that other new mother, she and I were discussing the possibility of divorce within our respective marriages. She had even gone so far as to broach the subject with her husband, sort of. She didn't actually tell him that she wanted a divorce so much as she tried to point out to him what a good idea it would be. "You know, with your investments in the tank the way that they are, it would be the best possible time to divorce. You wouldn't have to pay me out as much as you would if they were doing well!" Amazingly, he didn't get the hint.

Edited to add: They're still married.


Chantal said...

I must admit I felt the same way after baby one. I would lie in bed at night fuming (instead of sleeping) wondering who this jerk beside me was. Thankfully we got past that. I know a few marriages that haven't survived the 1st year with a child and it makes me sad.

Nora said...

I know the feeling! I remember wishing I could be married to a normal person...