Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Statistics Like These Make Me Feel Good About Myself

From an article I read in the Toronto Star:

Deep fried butter balls at the CNE

Numbers of butter balls sold: 36,000

Orders taken: 9,000

Balls per order: 4

Cost per order: $5

Pounds of fried butter eaten: 800

Calories per serving size (4): 315

Monday, September 06, 2010

This Post has a More Interesting Title than I Do

I have been finding it difficult getting Pumpkin to appreciate and understand the whole concept of my being a stay-at-home mom vs. a world where I could have been a working mom.

It started with her telling me that when she grows up, she wants to be a mommy. I explained that this was a great thing, but that she could be both a mommy AND have some sort of career if she wanted. The result of this was having her explain to me several weeks later, "Mommy, did you know that you could be a mommy AND a magician???"

Hey, it's good to have goals...

Fast forward a month or two later, Pumpkin asked, "Mommy, when you were a little girl, what did you want to be?"

"A doctor", I answered, not really being truthful, but figuring it was as good an answer as any.

"But you decided to just be a mommy instead?"

'Just be a mommy'. Ugh. I began lecturing her on how I am not 'just a mommy', and also how I could have been a doctor too, (as if!), but that I wanted to focus on my children and blah blah blah blah was all she heard as she tuned out to admire something shiny.

Fast forward another month or two, Pumpkin was asking why Daddy was at work.

'Well, someone's gotta pay for all this shit', was the gist of my reply. Then to revisit the discussion from the month prior, I got into how in some families, both parents have to work, and added how lucky we were that we could afford for me to leave my old job so that I could be home with Pumpkin and Chichi.

Pumpkin replied, "Well I think that you still have a job to do."

Beaming with delight that Pumpkin was recognizing the work involved in taking care of her and her sister, I asked, "And what do you believe my job is, Pumpkin?"

"Laundry", she replied matter-of-factly.

Sigh. Magician school is starting to look better and better.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Maybe it's Just My Ego, but Still...

It's amazing what'll prompt me to post. I just had a fantastic, week-long, family vacation and haven't been able to compose anything on that, but my trip to the mall tonight had me running to the computer to record an odd event.

First off, I bought some hawt shoes that I'll probably only wear once or twice a year, to go with my new skirt-suit, which I also will likely only wear once or twice a year, but whatever. It is currently that time on the Jewish calendar where I get to wear my suits and hawt shoes, and I should look good doing it, dammit!

So maybe I had a certain glow about me after making my frivolous purchase, or maybe the humidity has been working in my favour, but whatever the reason, I got stopped by a 20 something couple on my way to my car. The guy was a clean cut, bright eyed, pretty boy. The girl was very made-up and stone-faced. They were holding hands.

"Excuse me," began the guy, "but we were just noticing how amazing your skin looks!"

"Huh?" I asked, assuming that my hearing problem was leading me down yet another embarrassing path.

"Your skin!", He continued. "You have a great complexion! What do you use on it?"

So..., they were like..., discussing this? I wondered.

"Uh, Nivea..", I replied, wondering why it was the guy, and not Stone-Face, who was inquiring.

"Oh. So, uh, do you live around here?", the guy then asked.

"Uh, Thornhill", I hesitantly offered up, not sure where this was going.

"Ooooh, are you Jewish?", he asked.

"Uh, yeah"

"Right on!", he exclaimed.

(nervous laughter)

It was getting really awkward at this point. "So, are you guys selling products at one of these booths or somethin'...?", I inquired, figuring that this had to be heading towards a sales pitch.

"No, no. We were really just noticing your skin."

"Oh... well... thanks..." I said, giving a half wave and turing my body to walk in the other direction.

So do you think that I passed up a chance at a threesome?