Life Almost Ended

Pumpkin has an off-white, crochet blanket that is the most important of all her possessions. She sleeps with it, eats with it, travels with it, pees with it, chews it, and drags it around. She calls it her "Geekie". It was made by a good friend of mine. Pumpkin also has a back-up Geekie, which is just a receiving type of blanket that came with a sleeper that she was given as an infant. It's pink with flowers, and for some reason became important to Pumpkin as well. A lot of kids I know have a favourite possession like this, whether it be a stuffed toy or something else. All that really matters is that whatever this possession is, it must never be lost, torn, bent, folded, or mutilated. Imagine then, how life as we know it almost ended last Sunday when we loaded up the car to return home from a day at the pool at my FIL's place. Pumpkin left the Geekies in the car that day as we told Pumpkin that they could not swim, which really meant that I didn't want more crap to carry as I was already too loaded down. Hubby was in charge of strapping Pumpkin into her car seat, and had to move the blankets out of the way to do it. As we were driving home, Pumpkin shrieked, "It's stuck!" I glanced back and took a second to understand what I was looking at. She was holding a corner of the crochet blanket which appeared to be coming out of the ceiling. "Is Geekie on the roof???", I shouted at hubby.
"Uhhhh, yeah", he replied, without enough of a sense of urgency. I pulled over to find that both blankets were out there. The pink one was tangled up in the main one, and it was only by luck that the main one was anchored by the door. All is well now, and I don't want to start a fight over it, so it will have to suffice to embarrass my husband by publishing this story on the World Wide Web, in hopes that enough of our friends read this post and tell him what a doofus he is.

Breastfeeding with an Audience

I'm not writing this post because it is/was World Breastfeeding Week, but my story is quite timely in that sense.

I absolutely HATE HATE HATE breastfeeding in public. I can appreciate that I have the right to breastfeed wherever I want, or so I would like to believe, but the gliding chair in my baby's room with the assistance of a nursing pillow will always be my first choice. I've learned to make peace with the fact that I have to do it in front of my mom since she is usually here, but even that makes me a little uncomfortable. Recently, some inlaws came over for a visit to meet the new baby, so I felt obligated to spend time with them and not hide away in the baby's room when it was time to feed her. I found it stressful, especially since the baby doesn't stay latched for long periods of time. She is always pulling away and re-latching, which certainly leaves me exposed for all to see. Despite knowing that breastfeeding is completely natural and non sexual, I'm still not comfortable letting other people see my boobs. I didn't like my boobs being seen back in the locker room in Jr. high, and I don't like it now. Most people are polite enough not to stare, but there was a ten year old boy in that pack of visiting inlaws who could use a lesson in manners. This past week, I was on the phone with his mother who suggested that I cover up when I feed the baby when her son is around because ever since that visit, he has not stopped talking about my boobs, their size, their colouring, etc. Great. I love that he has created a visual for the rest of my inlaws. Given that this kid was just busted by his parents for surfing adult sites on the net, I can see why my rack got him talking. My guess is that my set scarcely resembles the perky and probably artificial ones that he saw on line. Hey, the porn industry gave me false expectations too. The first penis that I ever saw belonged to a porn star on a movie that I found in my brother's room. The "actor's" name was Raul, and his schlong was the size of Manhattan! Reality catches up to us all eventually, but I don't want to be the one who teaches this little boy what that reality is, especially if he is not mature enough to understand that boobs in this context are not sexual. (my husband will attest to that) Under these circumstances, I am quite happy to cover up, which I was trying to do in the first place, and I don't mind that it was suggested that I do so. The boy's mother may or may not have used the incident as a teaching opportunity, although that isn't my concern. I just learned that on a more recent visit with my inlaws, the same boy peeked around a corner to catch another glimpse of me nursing my daughter, even though I made a point to do it in a separate room. He was silly enough to brag about it to his mother, and consequently got in trouble for it.

In no way am I saying that women should cover up or hide away while breastfeeding. In the words of HBM, "BOOBS ARE NOT DIRTY. BOOBS ARE NOT SHAMEFUL. BOOBS SUSTAIN LIFE. OF BOOBS PUT TO THEIR NATURAL PURPOSE WE SHOULD BE PROUD. OF ALL BOOBS WE SHOULD BE PROUD." Nonetheless, if this boy is going to gossip about my rack to my inlaws, and possibly noodle himself under the covers as he replays the memory, I'm coverin' up, thankyouverymuch.

I've Been Half Assing this Mother Stuff

Since the birth of the new baby, my mom and husband have taken over the majority of my Pumpkin duties. I do look after her and play with her some of the time, but not nearly as much as I used to. Also, her nightly bath has pretty much been taken out of my hands. I hate the whole bath/bed routine, which I have happliy opted out of while I've taken a few moments to myself each evening. However, I have come to realize that as much as I resent being torn away from my limited chances to watch recordings of Canadian Idol and The Two Coreys, bath/bed routines are good bonding opportunities that I've been missing out on. I also came to realize that although it had just been a few weeks, Pumpkin has grown, and I've missed it. Upon giving her the a bath for the first time since the baby came along, I noticed that she was larger. I know that after caring for a newborn, a pre-schooler can appear enormous, but she really has grown. Not only that, but her hair has gotten thicker. These are things that should stand out to someone who hasn't seen her in a while, but I shouldn't really be noticing them so easily as I am with her everyday.

A friend of mine once told me a story that I was certain was an exaggeration, so I dismissed it at the time. After he and his wife had their second child, they agreed that the wife would be primarily in charge of the baby, and he would look after the older child. After many months had passed, he was then given the task of watching the baby for whatever reason, and he realized at that time that he didn't know anything about his second child. I think I understand how he might have felt that way. Since our second child arrived, I have been in the privileged situation of having an extra pair of hands to help me. My mom has been here almost every day since the baby was born, primarily looking after Pumpkin. Many mothers of young children would kill for that kind of free help, and I know that none of you are playing violins for me, but there is a downside. As mentioned earlier, I missed a stage of growth. I don't want to miss stages. I can see myself not knowing all that I should know about Pumpkin if I allow myself the luxury of not having to ever wipe her butt or force-feed her . It is great to be able to give the new baby the kind of attention that I gave Pumpkin when she was an infant, but I need to ensure that I get some quality Pumpkin time too. I know that I have to make a better effor than I've been putting forth lately. That being said, you can continue to give her some of her baths mom. I still need my reality TV time too.

#2

Ok, Pumpkin is at camp, baby is asleep, so here I am, having an unheard of second cup of coffee, attempting to sneak a post in before you all quit popping in. You may still quit after realizing that this post is about potty training, but I could use your wisdom. We have managed to get Pumpkin 90% toilet trained in terms of "#1", but have no luck at all with "#2". A lot of the time she asks to have a diaper put on her so she can do her "business", but sometimes she just does it in her underwear and just yells at us to change her. Bribery does not seem to work. What did y'all do when it came to your own kids?

Wow, was that ever a lame post! Let me make it up to you with a picture of the babe, 'cause I imagine that you would rather look at her than listen to me yammer on about stuff anyways.

The hair is still hangin' in.

Milestones and Deep Thoughts

This was an interesting week for Pumpkin. She had her first week of camp, which, as mentioned previously, is the first place where I've ever dropped her off. I only cried a little on that first day, although Pumpkin didn't cry at all. When she asked if I was staying, and I said that I wasn't, she turned her back on me and went back to whatever activity she was already engaged in. I'm not sad about that - I'd rather she not cry, which would leave me feeling guilty. I just had one of those my-baby-is-growing-up moments. She went every day for four days, and apparently did very well. She did not completely embarrass our family, although she did have to be asked twice a few times to do things. Not bad considering that she was raised by wolves.

Another great moment in Pumpkin-land was yesterday's trip to the dentist. Six months ago when we first took her to the dentist, she was frightened and wouldn't open her mouth for more than a minute or so. At that time, I had been reading to her from a book about Dora going to the dentist. Since we've now read that book together about 50 painstaking times, Pumpkin is no longer afraid. She sat with her mouth open long enough for a proper cleaning and flossing. I'm still beaming with pride over that one since Pumpkin doesn't ever do what Pumpkin doesn't want to do.

The baby also hit a of minor milestone. One night she slept six and a half hours straight! This is reminiscent of Pumpkin who slept eight hours every night starting at three weeks of age. Other mothers hated me for that but sleep was more important than their approval. Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please let this baby follow suit. Pretty please?

Speaking of sleep issues, wouldn't it be cool if baby monitors had snooze buttons? What's the worst that could happen? Also, can anyone explain why it is so easy to doze off while sitting uncomfortably upright while giving a baby a late-night feeding, but it takes about twenty minutes to fall back asleep once returning to one's bed after said feeding?

Parenting Randomness

I miss writing. I find myself concocting posts in my head all the time, but the posts never come to fruition. I like to write at night, but nights have become a write-off as you can well imagine. I have to make peace with writing during day-light hours. I've only got time for randomness today as I can only expect both the baby and Pumpkin to amuse themselves for a short while.

Pumpkin started breast-feeding her dolls, although she feeds the dolls through her belly-button. In her defence, my belly-button is still protruding, and has a darker pigment than the rest of my skin, so I can see where she got confused. I've decided to let things be so she doesn't start talking about boobies when we're out at the store or something.

Pumpkin starts camp tomorrow. This will be the first time I will be dropping her off anywhere and I'm pretty nervous about it. The camp is at the same place where she will be attending pre-school in September, so it seems like a good idea to get her feet wet by trying out the camp first. I just can't imagine her going off into the world with all of her peculiar idiosyncrasies. Will they mock her for screaming, "I DID IT!!!" whenever she pees in the potty or toilet, or whatever they have. Will she even use their potty? Will the fact that she hasn't figured out the rules of "time out" be an issue? Is the fact that she doesn't do what she's told be an issue? I guess that's the real concern. Her behaviour is a reflection of me, and although she is 90% angel, the 10% devil that we see a lot of at home has me very worried. I don't want to be the mother of "THAT" kid. I guess it's time to step up the disciplining in this household, even though it doesn't get through that easily. While I was typing this post, I had to break for half an hour to implement and re-implement, and re-implement a time out, and only managed to get ten seconds of silence before I decided to quit while I was ahead. Maybe next time we'll make it to twenty seconds?

The baby is being a baby. Not much that you'll find interesting about her, except that she is so cute my head might explode. Thank you all for your compliments on her picture, BTW. Breast feeding is going well enough - no extreme pain, cracking or bleeding. She is willing to take a bottle, unlike when Pumpkin was an infant, so I still see a glimpse of freedom on the horizon. We're even escaping for a couple of hours for dinner tonight.

Well, that time-out sucked up most of my blogging time. Until next time...

Checking In

I'm still here, head above water. I haven't been posting because of visiting family members, and the fact that my blogging time coincides with my sleeping time, and you can guess which one wins out. The sleep situation isn't too too bad, although it takes a little getting used to. The baby sleeps in three hour stints, with the occasional four, but usually three. This would actually be completely tolerable except for the fact that I was given a rubella vaccine while in the hospital, and I turned out to be part of the five percent of people who have side effects. Nothing drastic, but aching joints, headaches, and a fever don't help the situation. Did you know that when you add a fever to existing, hormonal night sweats, you may as well wear a bathing suit to bed? Charming, no? Anyhow, although I've had all the babies that I'm presumably gonna have, I am now immune to a virus that is dangerous to unborn children. Better late than never?

It has been hours since I started this post and the baby isn't going to let me add much more as she had declared today to be boob-fest. For now I will leave you with a picture intended to melt your heart, or at least show off her natural faux-hawk: