How I Didn't Win Millions

So I've determined that I'm not a gambling addict. I guess that's a good thing. A few weeks back, we made an escape to Vegas for four nights. It was my first time there, and I was kind of expecting to get swept up in the excitement of it all and lose a pile of money.

I sat down at my first slot machine, loaded in $20, and started pushing the button. 80 credits, 76 credits, 72 credits, and all the way down to zero. Wow. That. was. fun. I switched machines. 80 credits, 76 credits, OOOOOHHHHH, up to 90 credits, aaaaaaaand back down to zero in no time. WTF? Why is everyone doing this?

I looked around. People were serious about this. They were staked out at their machines, making themselves comfortable for the long haul, and focusing, as if focusing did any good. I didn't get it. Maybe it's because I didn't win anything, but how much were people spending before they actually won?

I started loitering around hubby, who was enjoying himself; up six bucks, down three, up four, down again. He was considering it to be entertainment, if nothing else. He probably would have preferred to play poker at the tables, but neither the other couple we were with, nor I were 'hard core' enough to join him. Nonetheless, he was having fun, at least until I started talking.

"Why are we doing this? These machines belong to the casino. The casino doesn't want us to have the money! These computers are programmed not to give us money! Why does everyone think that they're going to win? It felt ridiculous to stuff money into the machine, only to push the button 20 times and watch it disappear! So what if you won a little! You're just going to lose it again! I'm thirsty! How much longer are we going to stay here! "

He stared at me blankly, probably wondering why he was there with me. I'm glad he has actual poker buddies for this purpose.

Don't feel bad for me though. Vegas has more than just gambling. Vegas has OUTLET MALLS!!!!!!! A good time was had by all.