Thursday, January 29, 2009

I Think My 3 Year Old Reads My Blog

After three consecutive posts about how I haven't been enjoying my time with Pumpkin lately, I feel the need to change my tune. On the day of my last post, Pumpkin came home from school and was as bratty as ever. She had a swim lesson that afternoon and insisted that she wasn't going. The week before, she spent the whole lesson crying, although the week before that, she loved it. I didn't know if I should have let her drop out, or push her into it, but I really need for her to have afternoon activities for my own sanity, so off we went to swimming with the promise of buying her a Princess Aurora figurine if she did what the instructor asked. The lesson started out pretty rough, but by the end she was more or less complying. I showered her with praise, bought her the stupid princess, and headed home. From that moment forward, she has been a pretty good kid. Very few time-outs have been issued, most meals have been consumed without too much aggravation, we've gotten off to school without any fights, and here's the kicker: SHE SHAT IN THE POTTY!!!!!!!! I wasn't even prompting her. Our secret: She wasn't wearing any clothes from the waist down. Crapping on the floor seemed to disturb her more than crapping in her clothes, so she wandered upstairs by herself and properly took care of business. Guess we'll be doing the half-nekkid thing around here for the next while. Anyhow, remembering the days of when I was offering princess bribes for potty training, Pumpkin interrupted my excitement to ask, "Can I have Belle?" I think I need to buy shares of Disney stock.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


We're not allowed to say that we hate them.  If our children's behaviour is so bad day after day after day after day that we want to cry every morning because getting out the front door is so difficult, we aren't really permitted to hate them.  If they ignore every single thing that we say, despite the time-outs, threats, removal of toys, etc., we still don't get to hate them.  If the thought of them coming home from school makes us feel dread, and even getting them home from school is a challenge in itself, we can't say that it's the children that we hate. Even if our best intentions lead us to take them to programs that get met with resistance, tantrums, and futility, hate is still not permitted.  Think of the judgement we would receive if we regularly expressed hatred for our kids.  The more lenient of the judges would probably tell us that we don't hate them, but that we are just stressed by the trials of parenthood.  Do feelings really need to be so complicated?  I love my daughter the way a mother should, but sometimes...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I Love Bleach

This is a poo post.  If you are even the slightest bit of an intellectual, you will stop reading now.  Still here?  At least we're all in good company.

Last week at Pumpkin's 3-1/2 year check up, we talked to the doctor about her unwillingness to do #2 in the toilet, and entertained the possibility that being constipated was a contributing factor.  Since it is impossible to get Pumpkin to eat food that isn't beige in colour, we were told to give her a particular laxative  product that contains mineral oil, which would get things moving more easily.  My recommendation:  DON'T DO THIS!  I'm not going to describe to you the subsequent events after a week of spiking her juice with this product, but you can refer to the title of this post and draw your own conclusions if you feel so inclined.  All I will say is that doing the kind of laundry that I am doing right now does not exactly endear Pumpkin to me all that much right now. 

Are you still here and reading this?  Why?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Just Venting

It isn't new that three year olds bust our chops more often than they behave, but OMG I AM READY TO DRIVE OFF A BRIDGE THIS MORNING!  I don't even want to give you the details because they are too stupid to even think about, but the combination of Pumpkin being an idiot; Chichi crying for whatever reason; dogs tripping me up in every direction; the leaky kitchen faucet; the fact that I have a physical in an hour and consequently am not permitted to eat, drink coffee, or have a shot of whisky, I am ready to break.  Yup, tears and all.  It's probably not great that I'm having my blood pressure tested this morning.  Deep breaths.  Deeeeep breaths.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Big Day

Everyone was told that they were invited to a resort for the week-end to celebrate our having bought land somewhere in cottage country. A few people said that they couldn't make it, but after hearing some privileged information, they found a way to be there. Our immediate families were there, as well as a few other relatives that we happen to like. All of our close friends were there too. Upon arriving at the resort, everyone was shown to his or her room where they were greeted with a giant invitation stuck to the wall such that it couldn't be missed. The invitation read:

We lied!

Please join us tomorrow at noon
on the main dock
to celebrate the marriage of
T & J

Lunch reception to follow.

Engagement party to begin immediately.

(Will our parents please meet us in room 203 right away
to give us our lumps)

The faces were priceless. From shock, to mile anger/amusement, to overall happiness/admiration. This was no small feat to have pulled off! Our parents exhibited a wide range of emotions as well, but after we sold them on the fact that they didn't have to pay a cent, nor did they have to do any planning, plus realizing that there was nothing that they could do about it, they calmed down enough to agree to join the party. This was really the only way we could have had a small wedding with minimal hassle, yet still include our loved ones.
Too bad I only thought of it in hindsight after having our traditional, mega wedding that cost our parents too much and caused them great stress, as many weddings do. I don't know why I periodically spend time planning the kind of wedding that we didn't have, but the fact is that I do, and this blog is the only place that it can manifest itself. So there it is. Does anyone else waste time on this sort of thing?

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Year End Wrap Up

School starts again tomorrow!  We got through two weeks of Pumpkin not being in school, and I'm ready for her to go back.  We did our best to keep her busy during her time off, but I'm out of options for her, and am looking forward to a couple of hours of quiet each day.  During her time off, my mom took her to Casa Loma which was doing a Sleeping Beauty theme; I took her to Disney on Ice; my mom took her to attempt to see The Nutcracker (she lasted through the first half); and we had about 4 or 5 playdates.  Kind of tiring for the grown-ups with the exception of one playdate which was a drop-off.  I'm not one to worry, but it was pretty weird for me to be invited to bring my child over to someone's house and then drive away.  Pumpkin crapped her pants before we left so I didn't have to worry about anyone else having to contend with that, but I was kind of nervous about how she would behave.  Apparently she was fine, although I'm not sure that the nanny in charge would have actually told me that Pumpkin was a demon-child. 

Chichi has pretty much been perfect thus far, and I can only pray that her curious observation of Pumpkin's defiance will lead to nothing further than just observation.  She is a much easier baby than Pumpkin was, so hopefully the trend will continue.  Sometimes I feel a little bad about just how much I am enjoying Chichi when I was never able to feel the same way about Pumpkin, but it's sooooo much easier to like a well behaved baby.  Pumpkin basically didn't like her options and wasn't happy until she could crawl.  Chichi has always been all smiles and is just nice to spend time with.  Honestly, she makes my heart explode on a daily basis.  Too bad she's going to be three someday.  

As for the non-mommy stuff, I managed to have a reasonable social holiday season.  We pretty much saw all of our close friends, and I even hosted a couple of events.  I never have anyone over, but now that I have a decent room for entertaining, I'm feeling a little more motivated.  I had my high-school gang over one night in an attempt to recreate the Christmas potluck that we used to have every year back in the good ol' days.  Not everyone could make it but it was still good to see those who came.  I noticed that we all seem to eat and drink a lot less than we used to.  I made up for that the next night as I hosted the annual New Year's reject party.  Yup, that's what it's called.  Every year we make plans with another couple to do the fondue thing, and invite anyone else who has nothing better to do.  We even had a few takers this year!  I'm not actually big on celebrating New Year's, but it's cool to hang out with friends, break out the chocolate fountain and stay up late.  Small pleasures.  

So that's what's been happening over here.  No major fireworks but the year is still young.  Oh yeah, Happy New Year everyone!