Firecracker Chicken

I avoid complicated meals at almost all costs, but there is one recipe that I can't seem to stay away from.  I prepared the sauce for it last night which involved the chopping and seeding of some really hot peppers.  The recipe calls for jalapeno, but I went with scotch bonnet.  Did you know that it is near impossible to remove the essence of scotch bonnet peppers from your hands in one or two good washes?  I realized this while I was flossing my teeth before bed, and felt my mouth set afire while I was doing it.  I prefer a minty floss generally.  I felt like I had just eaten hot chicken wings.  Then I worried about what I might do to Chichi during a diaper change so I scrubbed my hands raw, which left them stinging badly as I probably opened up a sore or two in my attempt to be pepper free.  It was like I had injected the hot pepper under my skin.  It took at least a half hour to subside.  In the morning, I found that my hands still had some kick to them.  I managed to keep my fiery hands away from all eyes and further orifices, but damn, those peppers should come with a pair of latex gloves!  Anyhow, it is pretty much my favourite meal right now, even though it is way too much work, not child friendly, and not all that healthy either.  You still want it, don't you?  Well, as I state above, this is not a food blog, however, this blog is.  I managed to find it while trying to avoid walking upstairs to use the scanner on the existing page that I have it copied on.  Go for it, but don't play with yourself for days after making it.  Don't say I didn't warn ya!  

Continuing to Pay for the Veterinarian's House

We got through the March break relatively unscathed. A couple of playdates, Disney On Ice, and a McDonald's playground got us through the rest of the week. No big whoop, as Pumpkin wasn't in torture-mommy mode. Still, she and I were both happy to have school back in session.

The big drama of today would be my dog who had minor surgery. There was a growth on her foot that was removed, which has left her temporarily limping. The seemingly bigger issue is the damn cone/lamp shade doohicky she has to wear around her neck to prevent her from licking her wounds. She is a 75lb dog, which means her particular lamp shade is quite large, tripling the diameter of her required headroom. Combine that with her already hyper personality, and you've got a lot of paint chips, wall gouges, and scratched knees. It's going to be a long ten days of this. I can't imagine that she is too impressed either. She looks so miserable lying there with her droopy, doped up eyes, bandaged foot, and normally upright ears being bent downwards by the stupid cone. Poor baby. She requests that all flowers, gifts, and edibles be sent care of me, you know, just in case she's too sleepy to answer the door.

March Break Survival - 1st Edition

So far, so good, sort of. I was a bit of a slacker on Saturday and didn't do anything with Pumpkin to start off her spring break, but she was pretty good that day, busying herself with arts n' crafts, and Disney movies.

On Sunday I took her to a Judy and David performance, which she seemed to enjoy, although more so in retrospect than during. It was a modern day rendition of The Three Little Pigs, and although she seemed a little restless while we were watching it, a half hour after the show I heard her say, "We can't go yet - I need to hug the pigs!" A little late, but at least there was some sort of impact. One day I'll figure her out. I can't say that I'm a big fan of Judy and David, although this was the first time I've ever been subjected to their schtick. I've heard them referred to as The Canadian Wiggles, which is definitely a stretch, but overall it was pretty good. Coincidentally, we met up with some good friends at the show, which was an added bonus.

Yesterday, we hit the maple sugar bush for the second year in a row. Oddly enough, it was the same place where we went last year, when I reported disappointment with the experience. They're still not offering taffy on snow, which blows, but Pumpkin got more into the experience, fed the animals, had a pony ride, and generally enjoyed being out of doors. That was my actual reason for returning to this particular place. I really wanted to get out and enjoy this sunny weather we've been having, and there's something kitchy about being at a sugar bush. Besides, I learned to make my own taffy last year, improving on the technique by substituting ice cream in place of my dog-abused snow supply. Think I'll do another round of that before the week is out.

Today we made it downtown for Spring Fling, although I wish we hadn't. It was essentially the same type of carnival that turns up in local shopping mall parking lots, but because of where it was, the line-ups were insane, and we ended up waiting about 45 minutes for each crappy ride. Not so good if you happen to be with a tiny bladdered person. If you do decide to venture out to do this, bring enough snacks to keep the kids from whining and tantrumming in line. I ran out too early in the day. Also, build up a lot of hype for the ice cream or popcorn that you promise your kids for when you want to make an exit. To be honest, I would have offered Pumpkin a small, Korean car just for an opportunity to get outta there! Thankfully popcorn did the trick.

I guess I still have a few more days of trying to be the funnest mom ever. Wish me luck!

I Suppose it's One Way to Travel...

Pardon the annoying toy - I needed bait.

Recipe for a Happy Marriage?

There was an article in the paper yesterday that discussed the formula for a happy marriage as per a survey conducted on 3000 Brits.  To sum things up, on average, the people who had the happiest marriages:  say, "I love you", daily; share 2 hobbies; have sex three times a week; communicate three times during the work day; enjoy two romantic meals a month; and exchange four kisses and three cuddles daily.  What I can deduce from this is that the happy couples that helped to formulate this recipe have neither small children, nor PVRs.  As someone who has both, I think we need to tweek this a wee bit.  

Saying, "I love you", everyday isn't too much of a hardship but all those kisses and cuddles are going to be difficult to squeeze in.  The mornings might not be a good time for this as we are in constant battle with our 3 year old, starting from being jolted out of slumber by her squealing, and ending with her complete refusal to get into the car to go to school.  Any romantic gestures during this time will be taken as sarcasm.  Evenings aren't great for this either because the whole business of getting two kids fed, bathed, and off to bed is exhausting to say the least, and by the time we've got them in their beds and get dinner cleared away, we need to take to our separate corners to unwind.  There may be time for a genuine "I love you" in the hour between getting relaxed and heading off to bed, provided it doesn't interfere with our favourite shows.  I am, however, willing to multitask and cuddle while I'm watching TV.  Based on this, I'm willing to offer up four "I love yous"per week, and maybe one long cuddle per night, with the possibility of a kiss during a commercial break.  No promises though.  

Speaking of our shows, this is where the PVR becomes an issue.  How can one be expected to have sex three times a week EVERY week when we have the ability to record hours and hours of quality programming every week, and need to use our spare time to keep from falling behind on it.  Lost, Grey's Anatomy, House, Hell's Kitchen, etc.  That's a heck of a lot of commitment!  We may have romantic plans for after the TV turns off, but c'mon people, let's talk about sleep here!  Small children, remember?  Would my marriage really be happier if I were that much more tired?  I'm going to leave it to you to decide how often is enough 'cause my parents are reading and they don't need more information than they've already got.  I knew I should never have given them my web address.  

How about those two hobbies that we're supposed to share?  Is it enough that we both like to mountain bike and ski, but only get to fantasize about getting out to do those things together.  I suppose fantasizing could count as a hobby, right?  I'll go with one hobby that can be done anytime, anywhere.

Communicating at least 3 times during the work day? Does calling to ask him to bring home diapers count?  How about if I follow it up with a text message that instructs him on which specific diapers to buy?  That'll put me at two!  Truthfully, our days are both rather busy, and interrupting each other is kind of annoying.  I'm gonna offer up one per day, provided there is actual information that needs to be transmitted.

Two romantic meals per month seems acceptable, although the interpretation of "romantic" must be a subjective thing.  Are the kids bound and gagged such that hubby and I may converse?  Yes?  Consider this to be romantic.

Theoretically, we're not putting forth enough effort to actually be happy, which is too bad, because I mistakenly believed that we were happy.  That's so much extra work that I don't even want a happy marriage now!  I'm gonna settle for mediocre.  Who's with me?

Freshening Up, Take One.

To distract you from noticing that I've got absolutely nothing to say, I've started redecorating. If that new banner doesn't entice you to keep coming back, I don't know what will.

Big Sis

Recently I have posted about how my feelings towards Pumpkin were at an all-time low, and also about how her behaviour has improved since that particular post. Pumpkin's behaviour certainly isn't perfect, and I do believe that she is still doing research for her debut non-fiction book titled, How to Irritate People (chapter 1 : Methods of waving objects in the face of whomever is trying to strap you into your car seat), she does seem to have turned a corner. Her dialogue is now often relevant, and she can be reasoned with some of the time. The area where I am most impressed with her, and have always been impressed with actually, is her behaviour towards her new sister. I knew that there would be jealousy, and I believe that there is, but these feelings have never been taken out on Chichi. Hubby, the dogs, and I have suffered a great deal, but Chichi remains unscathed. When Chichi needs to be nursed, Pumpkin doesn't complain but instead hangs out in Chichi's room and plays. When Chichi eats her meals, Pumpkin often does things to make her laugh, enabling me to feed her more easily. When Chichi seems unhappy, Pumpkin worries and brings her toys. Pumpkin even chooses to have her bath with Chichi, even though she only gets about three inches of water to play in. I don't worry about leaving them alone in a room together. Just yesterday I walked into the playroom to find the two of them playing "nosies", which is just what we call it when we rub noses. Chichi seems to light up whenever Pumpkin enters the room. I love this, but I am also baffled.

I don't have a sister. I do, however, have a brother, and despite the fact that he will probably leave a comment denying any wrongdoing, he was pretty evil when we were little. I remember being punched in tune to the song that played whenever he completed a level of Donkey Kong Jr. I remember being denied the chips he was eating unless I was willing to walk in bare feet in the snow for ten seconds. I remember being flipped over backwards in rocking chairs, etc. I obviously can't remember how he treated me when I was a baby, but there is no record of him being nurturing whatsoever. I can't say that I believe that my two girls will always get along, or even get along for much of the time, but I am really enjoying how they are right now and wonder if they will have less sibling rivalry than my brother and I had to deal with. Regardless, right now I am just so very proud of Pumpkin for being the big sister that she is.

Freshening Up

In the past, I have managed to come up with posts pertaining to things of little consequence, but posted nonetheless.  Lately I feel as though I've got nothing.  I've been blaming my boring life, but I don't think things are more boring these days than they were a year ago.  Technically they are more exciting given the new addition to our family.  I've also  been blaming the winter blahs, which I think everyone is experiencing these days, but there must be more to it than that.  I've been tagged several times in facebook for the 25 things about me meme, and haven't even have the energy or desire to come up with the 25 things.  Aside from watching my children grow and develop, the only thing that's gotten any sort of a rise out of me lately is the anticipation of new episodes of LOST.  I think I need more than this, although LOST is the best show EVER and is worth channeling my energy into.  That being said, I need a plan.  I'm thinking that I could force myself to post everyday (this will probably result in posts about poo); maybe visit my eliptical trainer in the basement a few times a week even though I hate this idea with a passion; make a better point of seeing my friends in person; stop waiting for everyone else to update their blogs and use my spare time to read one of those hand-held thingies with words and pages; and ???  What are you guys doing to stay fresh?

A Little Bit Redneck

I've been racking my brain trying to come up with an example of my redneckedness that would grant me admission to the Redneck shower, seeing as how s'phisticated I am, when I suddenly remembered this pic:

I too have been known to sleep with dog butt in my face! His butt may have been relocated for the purpose of this picture, but rest assured that I am no stranger to being woken up by the oh so pleasant scent of my dog's ass molecules. Sorry, I know that Tanis sleeps in the buff, but I'm not as much of a fan of dog hair in my creveses. So there it is. My bond with the real Redneck, whose new son is the latest Redneck-in-training. Congratulations to Tanis and the entire Redneck crew!

What?

I need new hearing aids.  I've had the same pair for about 6 years, and they are losing strength.  They've been kind of crappy for some time, what with them being stuffed in warm, moist, sometimes waxy ears 'n such.  Not the best environment for mini computers.  I've held off getting new ones because a) partial coverage only comes every 5 years from hubby's insurance, and b) I've been waiting to lose weight.  Believe it or not, when one loses weight, one does so in one's ears as well, leaving once fitted hearing aids somewhat loose, and sounding "tinny".  With the pregnancy weight finally gone, (THAT'S RIGHT!  ALL GONE!), and the TV loud enough to hear next door, I checked in with the specialist to see what's new in hearing.  Since I'm insistent on having the type that are completely hidden within my ear canals, the past six years of technology advancement have mainly brought me much of the same, with the option to upgrade for an extra $1100 to what amounts to better clarity.  The specialist suggested that I consider this as I am young, working, and probably need to be at the top of my game.  Although what I do on a daily basis certainly qualifies as working, I'm not sure it's the kind of work that requires the best hearing possible.  High quality nagging, whining, and shrieking don't sound like they'd be worth the money.  With the dying hearing aids that I am presently wearing, I hear all those things better than I want to.  Overall, my kids are actually loud enough for me to hear them unaided.  I'm now considering a downgrade.  

Room by the Hour?

We had date-night yesterday.  Both of us were very tired.  A cold swept through my house last week, and I was/am still in the thick of it.  A stomach bug also swept through, but for some reason I was the only one to get sick.  I think I may have felt normal for one day out of seven.  Despite feeling so bad, we were also bored.  Having kids the age of ours makes for a boring week-end most of the time.  The baby more or less grounds us as there is too much necessary gear to tote around if we were to attempt to go somewhere with her, not that we really have anywhere to go.  Pumpkin is good to go places, but winter is tough for ideas that the whole family can enjoy.  We had a playdate with my friend and her son, which was the excitement of our week-end.  So yes, we were zonked, but bored enough to go out.  As we were driving to the theatre, we passed by the street that leads us to hubby's dad's place.  Hubby suggested that we go there instead and just have a three hour nap.  I'm not sure why I didn't jump at that.  Yes, dinner and movie was nice, but I think I could start a new trend with the nap idea.  I think if it had been earlier on in the day, I would have opted for it.  

So how about Grace in Small Things?  I feel like I could use a dose:

1.  Chichi's first tooth

2.  Deer that keep running past my back fence

3.  The Scottie dogs in the movie, Coraline.

4.  Refrigerators with French doors

5.  Hair styling products

For the above, I am grateful.

Rap Star, Eh?

I just read that Joaquin Phoenix is leaving acting for a career as a hip hop musician.  Does that ever work?  I've seen musicians make it in acting, but never the other way around.  Remember these:

I'm just sayin.  

I Think My 3 Year Old Reads My Blog

After three consecutive posts about how I haven't been enjoying my time with Pumpkin lately, I feel the need to change my tune. On the day of my last post, Pumpkin came home from school and was as bratty as ever. She had a swim lesson that afternoon and insisted that she wasn't going. The week before, she spent the whole lesson crying, although the week before that, she loved it. I didn't know if I should have let her drop out, or push her into it, but I really need for her to have afternoon activities for my own sanity, so off we went to swimming with the promise of buying her a Princess Aurora figurine if she did what the instructor asked. The lesson started out pretty rough, but by the end she was more or less complying. I showered her with praise, bought her the stupid princess, and headed home. From that moment forward, she has been a pretty good kid. Very few time-outs have been issued, most meals have been consumed without too much aggravation, we've gotten off to school without any fights, and here's the kicker: SHE SHAT IN THE POTTY!!!!!!!! I wasn't even prompting her. Our secret: She wasn't wearing any clothes from the waist down. Crapping on the floor seemed to disturb her more than crapping in her clothes, so she wandered upstairs by herself and properly took care of business. Guess we'll be doing the half-nekkid thing around here for the next while. Anyhow, remembering the days of when I was offering princess bribes for potty training, Pumpkin interrupted my excitement to ask, "Can I have Belle?" I think I need to buy shares of Disney stock.

Hate

We're not allowed to say that we hate them.  If our children's behaviour is so bad day after day after day after day that we want to cry every morning because getting out the front door is so difficult, we aren't really permitted to hate them.  If they ignore every single thing that we say, despite the time-outs, threats, removal of toys, etc., we still don't get to hate them.  If the thought of them coming home from school makes us feel dread, and even getting them home from school is a challenge in itself, we can't say that it's the children that we hate. Even if our best intentions lead us to take them to programs that get met with resistance, tantrums, and futility, hate is still not permitted.  Think of the judgement we would receive if we regularly expressed hatred for our kids.  The more lenient of the judges would probably tell us that we don't hate them, but that we are just stressed by the trials of parenthood.  Do feelings really need to be so complicated?  I love my daughter the way a mother should, but sometimes...

I Love Bleach

This is a poo post.  If you are even the slightest bit of an intellectual, you will stop reading now.  Still here?  At least we're all in good company.

Last week at Pumpkin's 3-1/2 year check up, we talked to the doctor about her unwillingness to do #2 in the toilet, and entertained the possibility that being constipated was a contributing factor.  Since it is impossible to get Pumpkin to eat food that isn't beige in colour, we were told to give her a particular laxative  product that contains mineral oil, which would get things moving more easily.  My recommendation:  DON'T DO THIS!  I'm not going to describe to you the subsequent events after a week of spiking her juice with this product, but you can refer to the title of this post and draw your own conclusions if you feel so inclined.  All I will say is that doing the kind of laundry that I am doing right now does not exactly endear Pumpkin to me all that much right now. 

Are you still here and reading this?  Why?

Just Venting

It isn't new that three year olds bust our chops more often than they behave, but OMG I AM READY TO DRIVE OFF A BRIDGE THIS MORNING!  I don't even want to give you the details because they are too stupid to even think about, but the combination of Pumpkin being an idiot; Chichi crying for whatever reason; dogs tripping me up in every direction; the leaky kitchen faucet; the fact that I have a physical in an hour and consequently am not permitted to eat, drink coffee, or have a shot of whisky, I am ready to break.  Yup, tears and all.  It's probably not great that I'm having my blood pressure tested this morning.  Deep breaths.  Deeeeep breaths.

Been Waiting All Year for This!

Look what day it is!!!!

C'mon baby!  Show me some comment love!

The Big Day

Everyone was told that they were invited to a resort for the week-end to celebrate our having bought land somewhere in cottage country. A few people said that they couldn't make it, but after hearing some privileged information, they found a way to be there. Our immediate families were there, as well as a few other relatives that we happen to like. All of our close friends were there too. Upon arriving at the resort, everyone was shown to his or her room where they were greeted with a giant invitation stuck to the wall such that it couldn't be missed. The invitation read:

We lied!

Please join us tomorrow at noon

on the main dock

to celebrate the marriage of

T & J

Lunch reception to follow.

Engagement party to begin immediately.

(Will our parents please meet us in room 203 right away

to give us our lumps)

The faces were priceless. From shock, to mile anger/amusement, to overall happiness/admiration. This was no small feat to have pulled off! Our parents exhibited a wide range of emotions as well, but after we sold them on the fact that they didn't have to pay a cent, nor did they have to do any planning, plus realizing that there was nothing that they could do about it, they calmed down enough to agree to join the party. This was really the only way we could have had a small wedding with minimal hassle, yet still include our loved ones.

Too bad I only thought of it in hindsight after having our traditional, mega wedding that cost our parents too much and caused them great stress, as many weddings do. I don't know why I periodically spend time planning the kind of wedding that we didn't have, but the fact is that I do, and this blog is the only place that it can manifest itself. So there it is. Does anyone else waste time on this sort of thing?

Year End Wrap Up

School starts again tomorrow!  We got through two weeks of Pumpkin not being in school, and I'm ready for her to go back.  We did our best to keep her busy during her time off, but I'm out of options for her, and am looking forward to a couple of hours of quiet each day.  During her time off, my mom took her to Casa Loma which was doing a Sleeping Beauty theme; I took her to Disney on Ice; my mom took her to attempt to see The Nutcracker (she lasted through the first half); and we had about 4 or 5 playdates.  Kind of tiring for the grown-ups with the exception of one playdate which was a drop-off.  I'm not one to worry, but it was pretty weird for me to be invited to bring my child over to someone's house and then drive away.  Pumpkin crapped her pants before we left so I didn't have to worry about anyone else having to contend with that, but I was kind of nervous about how she would behave.  Apparently she was fine, although I'm not sure that the nanny in charge would have actually told me that Pumpkin was a demon-child. 

Chichi has pretty much been perfect thus far, and I can only pray that her curious observation of Pumpkin's defiance will lead to nothing further than just observation.  She is a much easier baby than Pumpkin was, so hopefully the trend will continue.  Sometimes I feel a little bad about just how much I am enjoying Chichi when I was never able to feel the same way about Pumpkin, but it's sooooo much easier to like a well behaved baby.  Pumpkin basically didn't like her options and wasn't happy until she could crawl.  Chichi has always been all smiles and is just nice to spend time with.  Honestly, she makes my heart explode on a daily basis.  Too bad she's going to be three someday.  

As for the non-mommy stuff, I managed to have a reasonable social holiday season.  We pretty much saw all of our close friends, and I even hosted a couple of events.  I never have anyone over, but now that I have a decent room for entertaining, I'm feeling a little more motivated.  I had my high-school gang over one night in an attempt to recreate the Christmas potluck that we used to have every year back in the good ol' days.  Not everyone could make it but it was still good to see those who came.  I noticed that we all seem to eat and drink a lot less than we used to.  I made up for that the next night as I hosted the annual New Year's reject party.  Yup, that's what it's called.  Every year we make plans with another couple to do the fondue thing, and invite anyone else who has nothing better to do.  We even had a few takers this year!  I'm not actually big on celebrating New Year's, but it's cool to hang out with friends, break out the chocolate fountain and stay up late.  Small pleasures.  

So that's what's been happening over here.  No major fireworks but the year is still young.  Oh yeah, Happy New Year everyone!

I Got Nothin'

I know I'm due for a post.  I just can't get one going.  All I've got are some random updates:

Last week at Pumpkin's school holiday concert, the mother of a boy who is in love with Pumpkin approached me and laughed about the fact that her son plans to go to synagogue with Pumpkin on Saturdays.  Pumpkin apparently made me look good by telling the boy that this is what we do on Saturdays.  Uhhhhmmmm, we don't do this.  Ever.  She LIED!  To impress a boy?

Chichi is eating cereal now, and can sit up for several minutes at a time.  As per the last developmental update on her, I know this is only interesting to my parents, but I do want to have some written record of when she started doing things.  I wasn't a blogger during Pumpkin's baby stage, leaving me with only my memory for such info.  I think she sat up at two months and started walking at five months.  Sound about right?

I was formulating a post in my head about Hanukkah vs. Christmas, and how they should never be compared seeing as Christmas will always win out due to the month-long build-up, whimsical characters, ambient lights, etc., but I'm actually thinking of retracting those thoughts.  I guess they're still true to me, but I don't feel all jaded and disgruntled enough to write a rant about it.  Hanukkah has actually been fun this year.  We had a family party which was ok, but the kids really enjoyed it, which made it a success.  We've been lighting the menorah, singing songs, and giving Pumpkin a present every night, which has her anticipating her nightly Hanukkah event with excitement.  Tonight was a bit of an exception because she woke up grumpy from a nap, told me that she didn't like her gift, and gave it back to me.  On the upside, I can still re-gift it tomorrow, being the eighth night.  I also find the pace of Hanukkah gift-giving to be better than a bombardment of presents all at once.  Thinking back to her last birthday party, Pumpkin wasn't able to enjoy all her gifts, and didn't play with some of them until months later.  One per night seems to work, even if I am stuck with a box of rejected finger puppets.

Remember the promise of mermaid barbie dolls in exchange for successful potty training?  Doesn't work.  Save your money.  I've gone through three princess, two Disney videos, and promises of everything and everything, but I'm still up to my elbows in crap.  Hating life a little for a few minutes a day.  

Last year's new year's resolution was to shred my papers.  Never did it.  Don't even care. 

As you can tell, I've got nothin'.  If I don't come up with anything new this week, Happy New Year!  See you in 2009....