I had my first official boyfriend when I was thirteen. Wanna know something creepy? The guy was nineteen. Before you get all freaked about that fact, I'll have you know that we never did anything heavier than kissing. He was what one would consider to be a "good Christian". I even met him in a church group if that makes it sound more innocent. I happen to be Jewish, but apparently I discovered at an early age that church groups were a good place to pick up guys. I also happened to have a friend who was all keen on her church's youth group, so I was invited to all their events. When I reflect back on that "relationship", I wonder how the heck it ever happened. Yeah, I had some of the physical attributes that identified me as a woman, but I'm sure that I had none of the emotional ones. I like to think I was somewhat mature for my age, but mature enough to carry on a romance with a nineteen year old who wasn't interested in sex before marriage??? What was in it for him? He was in university. I was in grade eight. What the hell did we talk about??? I was kind of grounded for the rest of my life during those days, so we were pretty much restricted to sneaking phone calls when my mom was at work, or when I managed to hit a pay phone, but we would chat for hours when we did get the chance. He even had me over to meet his family!!! Can you imagine what his parents were thinking??? I know it made sense to me at the time. I really liked him and we seemed to be a good match. I thought that my mom was being unfair, and that no one had a right to judge the situation without seeing how well this guy and I interacted. More than twenty years have since past, and now I judge the situation the same way everyone else did, and just don't understand any of it. There is no moral to this story. I don't want to relate it to the fact that I will have my own teenage girl to raise, or wonder if the whole thing could have been handled differently, but it is day five of Nablopomo, and I am digging for material. What will I be sharing by day twenty?
If any of you are scraping for material, and want to run with a post about your first or weirdest relationship, please feel free. Just let me know if you do it so I can come by and laugh/cringe/cry.
9 comments:
I think that in the throes of a relationship, especially during adolescence, few people are able to objectively view the pros and cons. And anyone who IS able can be dismissed as simply clueless.
Boy, I can't wait till my kids are teenagers!
This one made me smile, it's funny how when we were young everything made sense and when we look back now we think what the hell was wrong with us?? And yes i can only imagine when my daughter is 13 what I'll be going through.
I'll have to think which boyfriend I should write about...there's a couple of loonies in my past.
This is a great idea for a post, and I can totally relate to your feelings looking back. I had a similar "relationship" at around 14 and while at the time I felt so special and grown up, now i just think he must have been a creep or really insecure or something. Glad to know I'm not the only one!
Church youth group, eh? Score! When you think about it, the age difference was only 6 years, but it was a crucial 6 years.
When I was 18 I had a 29 year old boyfriend. That was a bit wierd too, but he was really nice. I remember when I turned 29 I thought about him.
And no, I don't believe my parents knew. That was the summer before I went away to school, and was barely ever home!
Yes church groups are awesome for picking up... but that aside when I was a very immature 15 yo I dated a 19 yo - which now I look back and think is weird but when you are in the moment it just seems normal. I think having a daughter has brought karma to my doorstep.
oh g-d....I could dish....especially about age gaps and a few "boy/man friends", but I might just make myself sick.
oh the memories.
then again..I do recall a little summer fling when I was in my mid twenties with a younger guy.
as in 19! yikes.
I swear he looked older than he was, and he failed to mention that he was still in highschool.
hey, if it's okay for Ashton & Demi....
13-19...all relative IMHO...Natural and normal at various times in our culture...In 1915, my mother...age 15...married my father...age 23...Not at all unusual for men at that time to marry around that age, after they were settled in jobs and income...and to look for early-teen-age mates..Worked out very well..mom had 6 children by the age of 25...and finished..LOL
PS...Sorry...make that 6 children by the age of 28...vbg
Oh my... I'm not sure I should do a post on this, as there are a couple of embarrassing ones in my past.
I'm cringing on your behalf (and my own, as this is reminding me of a few ah, uncomfortable memories).
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