Sunday, December 23, 2007

And the Mother of the Year Award Goes to....

Many of the bloggers that I read have children around age 2 or 2-1/2. Many of these bloggers have also posted about how these two-year-olds are busting their balls with what is believed to be typical two-year-old behaviour. I have read a couple of posts where the child has pushed his or her parent so far that the parent has given the child a smack. Not a belt to the head or anything violent, but a smack that would have been deemed perfectly fine about twenty years ago. I'm not judging anyone here. As a parent with a child in the same age range, I completely understand how this happens. It did occur to me to swat my daughter in the head as I watched her take a swig of juice, and then open her mouth to deliberately spill all the juice on the couch. When I see her torment the dogs, it does occur to me to give her a taste of her own medicine. So far I have managed to not act on any impulses, but I don't think that I deserve a medal after yesterday morning.

Pumpkin woke up 1-1/2 hours earlier than usual, screaming and crying. Naturally I jumped right out of bed since this is not her typical awakening. She was fine. She said something about her teddy bear, but I couldn't really figure out what she was saying due to her voice being so high-pitched and whiny. I know that the sound of one's own kid whining is one of the most annoying sounds for any parent, but somehow this was worse than usual. It didn't help that I had to jump out of bed like that instead of my usual, slow arising, which allows me to get the whole morning-sickness thing under control before I start my day. She wasn't going to go back to bed, so I had to start the morning ritual at a pretty early hour for us. I took her downstairs, gave her some milk, fed the dogs, flipped on the TV, and assumed a horizontal position on the couch to try and get my stomach under control before I took on any further activity. I started to dose off to the sounds of Dora, or Max and Ruby, or whatever show they had on, when WHACK! Shaking my head to try and figure out what the hell just happened, I realized that Pumpkin had swatted me in the face with a metal dog food bowl, with enough force to really hurt. Did I smack her back? No. Did I act on impulse? Yes. As soon as I gained some sort of consciousness, I shouted at her in my most hostile voice, "WILL YOU JUST FUCK RIGHT OFF!!!" She just carried on with what she was doing, but I know she filed those words away. They're in there, and I know they'll be making an appearance one of these days. Up until now, I have managed to refrain from foul language anywhere near her. I don't even tell the dogs to shut up - I shush them instead. I've been really careful. So now I've dropped the F-bomb directly at my daughter, and there isn't a thing I can do to change that. It's only a matter of time before I get black-listed on the play-date circuit because my daughter has become a bad influence. Apologies in advance.

12 comments:

Whirlwind said...

Hang in there, we've all done it. Moe was HORRIBLE at two. At three, she's slightly better and I know from experience that four year olds are downright delightful. Of course, it's short lived because 5 leads right into six which is full of testing boundaries!

Unfortunately, we are one who have resorted to a little smack on the rear end. I'd like to say it worked, but nothing worked with Moe.

As for the storing of choice words - yup, it will come up when you least expect it. Eventually you'll be able to laugh and I'm sure most parents will understand! And if you give any reaction, it will come up more! Kids like that.

VICTORIA said...

It happens...and they do indeed file it away...and it does indeed pop up in the most unexpected places!

Chantal said...

A two year old and morning sickness is just insane. It is so hard. Honestly each of those on their own are considered a monumental pain in the butt. Having to endure the two together should qualify you for a medal!

motherbumper said...

I can't even imagine what it's like to feel that way AND take care of a toddler - Bumper is kicking my butt and how I hold it together is really hard. Sometimes too hard. How else do you think B knows all her swear words and how/where to use them?

b*babbler said...

If all you did was drop the f-bomb, I'm mighty impressed. Getting walloped upside the head is no fun when you're running at 100%. When I was laid low with morning sickness I'm not sure what my reaction would have been, but I'm certain it would have not been as restrained.

And I have until December 31. As of January 1, I (who never makes New Year's resolutions - normally a waste) am exorcising the vast majority of my curse words around the daughter. It's time. Or her first word is NOT going to be mommy or daddy.

Don Mills Diva said...

I've so been there - in fact count me among the impulse smackers - I wish I had been controlled enough to just drop the f-bomb when I had a chunk biten out of my leg. You're doing great - don't worry!

Whirlwind said...

BTW, I forgot to add, I had been blacklisted from playgroups because of Moe. Not because of language, but because she went through a real aggressive phase and did alot of hitting/pushing/pinching. We are finally starting to get back into the circuit, but it hurt. And it's not the same.

And yeah, being pregnant with a toddler stinks. Unfortunately, when I was pregnant with Moe (I got pregnant when Einey was 2 and Meenie was 6 months) the girls had alot of TV time. It was all I could muster on some days!

THE MOM BOMB said...

Happens to EVERYONE. I did the swearing AND the butt-swatting right after my son smacked me in the face. Yes, I felt terrible afterwards, but on the plus side, he never did it again. I don't advocate losing control, but I don't think it hurts for even little kids to learn that their parents are humans and have limits to what they can take.

Nora Bee said...

I think your daughter is lucky to have a mama who tries her best. She has that filed away too (along with the f word) :-)

You're doing great, really.

something blue said...

Ouch! The two year old testing phase is well underway in our home too.

I like to throw in some made up bad words to confuse them. Like my mom told my younger brother when he was little, "Whatever you say, just never say Nutso!"

lildb said...

mehhh. that's not so bad. esp. given the circumstances - a metal bowl to the head, with force?

I'd have spanked my son right that instant if he'd done it, and had zero qualms.

also, I'd probably have sworn too. again, no qualms.

obviously, you should not defer to my questionable parenting as a comparison yard stick for your own. I clearly suck.

sigh.

kittenpie said...

The day I decided to bite back part of my curse, Pumpkpinpie finished up for me.
"Bloody..."
"Hell!"
Um, thanks. oops.