As Long as it has Pink Packaging, Take a Picture!

I had a really bright idea this morning as I headed out to the toy store to buy a gift for my friend's baby shower. "Pumpkin, why don't you come with me and show me the things that you want for Chanukah! I'll take a picture of each thing, then you can look at the pics and narrow the list down to eight things!"

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I told Pumpkin that we would pick out the shower gift, and then tend to her wish list. There was some protesting, and I eventually gave in and told her that we'd look for her stuff first, figuring that the order of events didn't really matter. Pumpkin very wisely replied to me, "Good! If we look around for me first, I won't get so frustrated!"

So does my frustration count for anything? I have at least 70 pictures on my phone that I now have to somehow print out for Pumpkin for her to apply some sort of ranking to. Not only that, but after an hour of snapping pictures of EVERY SINGLE BARBIE PRODUCT IN THE STORE, she was unwilling to cooperate when I finally took a moment to pick out the baby shower gift!

So yeah, bad idea. Pumpkin likes everything, so its best not to show everything to her. I was better off hearing about the twelve items that are continually advertised on the cartoon channel.

And I always figured I'd have the child whose only wish would be for world peace. Maybe if it came with a Ken doll...

Worth the Drive, Age Notwithstanding

Yesterday, my mom and I headed out to Kitchener for a 75% off warehouse sale for what has been one of my favourite clothing lines, Spanner. The actual Spanner store has been good to me, but DAMN is it expensive!

They do carry a lot of petite sizes there, which works out well for my mutant, truncated torso. Don't ya just love that word? Petite. Even if I'm ever a size 18, I still get to use that descriptor. Anyhow, with fairly unique items, and proper fit, they still get my business during their 30% off sales.

So I had a swell time at the warehouse, finding things that I already owned, but paid a lot more for the year prior. I found myself looking through the racks, just to verify that they wouldn't have had my size if I had waited. 'Aha! Everything here is extra large! My premium purchase last year was well worth it!' Right.

I didn't have a huge amount of success at the warehouse, partially because I already owned the things that I liked, but I think mostly because it's a clothing line for old ladies. One of my purchases was actually something that an old lady tried on but rejected!

First of all, don't get me wrong. I like old ladies. I even plan to be one some day. I also know that it is a relative term, seeing as I used to view people my current age as old. Nonetheless, my perception of 'old lady' exists, and I'm quite certain that I'm not supposed to be dressing like one just yet.

In defense of the store though, the old ladies that do buy stuff there are quite hip for their age. It does strike me as a little odd though that my mom and I have a few of the same items in our respective closets. My mom must be ultra-hip. Yeah, that's it.

Will someone just nominate me for that frickin' show already?

Maybe it's Just My Ego, but Still...

It's amazing what'll prompt me to post. I just had a fantastic, week-long, family vacation and haven't been able to compose anything on that, but my trip to the mall tonight had me running to the computer to record an odd event.

First off, I bought some hawt shoes that I'll probably only wear once or twice a year, to go with my new skirt-suit, which I also will likely only wear once or twice a year, but whatever. It is currently that time on the Jewish calendar where I get to wear my suits and hawt shoes, and I should look good doing it, dammit!

So maybe I had a certain glow about me after making my frivolous purchase, or maybe the humidity has been working in my favour, but whatever the reason, I got stopped by a 20 something couple on my way to my car. The guy was a clean cut, bright eyed, pretty boy. The girl was very made-up and stone-faced. They were holding hands.

"Excuse me," began the guy, "but we were just noticing how amazing your skin looks!"

"Huh?" I asked, assuming that my hearing problem was leading me down yet another embarrassing path.

"Your skin!", He continued. "You have a great complexion! What do you use on it?"

So..., they were like..., discussing this? I wondered.

"Uh, Nivea..", I replied, wondering why it was the guy, and not Stone-Face, who was inquiring.

"Oh. So, uh, do you live around here?", the guy then asked.

"Uh, Thornhill", I hesitantly offered up, not sure where this was going.

"Ooooh, are you Jewish?", he asked.

"Uh, yeah"

"Right on!", he exclaimed.

(nervous laughter)

It was getting really awkward at this point. "So, are you guys selling products at one of these booths or somethin'...?", I inquired, figuring that this had to be heading towards a sales pitch.

"No, no. We were really just noticing your skin."

"Oh... well... thanks..." I said, giving a half wave and turing my body to walk in the other direction.

So do you think that I passed up a chance at a threesome?

Girl's Weekend Redux

Wow, it's hard to get started again after a couple of weeks of laziness. I'll give it a try anyways.

Not this past week-end, but the one before, I had the whole week-end off! By that I mean I did not have any mommy duties, nor wifely duties (whatever those are) for 48 whole hours while I did a repeat performance of a girls-only, shopping week-end. 48 women, 48 hours, an outlet mall, Target, and a room crawl. Do I even need to say more?

Fortunately, or unfortunately, the group remembered my table dancing from the year prior, and did their best to get me loaded up enough to give it another try. I guess I've matured a bit over the past year and managed to keep my feet on the ground. I'm so proud.

I can't say that I found myself the slightest bit well rested after a week-end like that, and my feet were ready to leave me by the end of it, but oh I can't wait until next year!

I was much to busy trying on jeans and counting pockets in purses to have remembered to take any shopping pictures, but here are a few party shots to compensate for the thousand words that I haven't written:

Cheers!

Bizarre Shooter. The Headline might have read: 48 women found dead in a cheap hotel after simultaneously choking on a Hershey's Kiss

We were outta control!

So that's the gist of it. It took me a whole week to recover, but I'm coming out of my fog now so I should be back to posting semi regularly.

Fashion Victim

When it comes to fashion, I'm often a little late to the game. It takes many episodes of repeatedly seeing a certain look before it strikes me as something that I would wear. I usually do come around though. I was even liking the look of the Hawaiian shirt by day eight of my honeymoon. In light of this truth, it is no surprise to me that the skinny jean/high boot look has finally called to me. It's only taken about three years.

I was resistant to the skinny jean. Stacey and Clinton always recommend the straight-leg trouser jean for my body type, and I really believe that my butt would look enormous any other way. I probably would have lived out my life without ever even trying on a skinny jean if it weren't for the fact that I really REALLY wanted a pair of tall boots.

Jeans are the dress code of the stay at home mom, so if I was ever going to rock the boots, the jeans would have to come along for the ride. The problem was that I didn't want to buy the boots until I had the jeans, and I didn't want to buy the jeans at all!

This problem was solved yesterday when I wandered into a store for no particular reason but to waste time, and the pushiest saleswoman in the world practically pulled my pants off of me such that I would try on these Oprah endorsed jeans that she was certain that I had to have. I wasn't going take them, but there was this other, really hot woman observing me as she waited for her mother to come out of the change room, who first suggested that I go a size smaller, and then insisted that I had to have them. Can't argue with that kind of salesmanship! I wonder if they gave her a commission.

How I Didn't Win Millions

So I've determined that I'm not a gambling addict. I guess that's a good thing. A few weeks back, we made an escape to Vegas for four nights. It was my first time there, and I was kind of expecting to get swept up in the excitement of it all and lose a pile of money.

I sat down at my first slot machine, loaded in $20, and started pushing the button. 80 credits, 76 credits, 72 credits, and all the way down to zero. Wow. That. was. fun. I switched machines. 80 credits, 76 credits, OOOOOHHHHH, up to 90 credits, aaaaaaaand back down to zero in no time. WTF? Why is everyone doing this?

I looked around. People were serious about this. They were staked out at their machines, making themselves comfortable for the long haul, and focusing, as if focusing did any good. I didn't get it. Maybe it's because I didn't win anything, but how much were people spending before they actually won?

I started loitering around hubby, who was enjoying himself; up six bucks, down three, up four, down again. He was considering it to be entertainment, if nothing else. He probably would have preferred to play poker at the tables, but neither the other couple we were with, nor I were 'hard core' enough to join him. Nonetheless, he was having fun, at least until I started talking.

"Why are we doing this? These machines belong to the casino. The casino doesn't want us to have the money! These computers are programmed not to give us money! Why does everyone think that they're going to win? It felt ridiculous to stuff money into the machine, only to push the button 20 times and watch it disappear! So what if you won a little! You're just going to lose it again! I'm thirsty! How much longer are we going to stay here! "

He stared at me blankly, probably wondering why he was there with me. I'm glad he has actual poker buddies for this purpose.

Don't feel bad for me though. Vegas has more than just gambling. Vegas has OUTLET MALLS!!!!!!! A good time was had by all.